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Prime - We Do This

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Meridia Academy of Arts Volume 1: We Do This

2nd Period, Monday Morning - With two more minutes before class starts Drake and Richie sit down and begin talking.

“Dude, I’m so sleepy.” Richie says rubbing his eyes.

“You could just go to bed earlier.” Drake says.

“That’s now how I do things.” Richie replies. “Besides, you’re the reason why I couldn’t get to sleep.”

“How?” Drake asks.

“Dude, you sound like an angry gorilla when you sleep.” Richie says. “I could hear you from next door.” Richie says. “My dad thought I was staying up late to watch gorillas mate on the Discovery Channel.”

“Why would Uncle Rick think you were doing that?” Drake asks curiously.

“I don’t know.” Richie replies nervously rolling eyes. “It’s not like he’s walked on me while I was watching that.” Drake stares at Richie nervously. The Teacher, Mr. Campbell walks into the room and slams his suitcase on the desk. The bell rings and three more students squeeze into the classroom.

“Class, I have some big news relating to the play we hold at the end of the year.” Mr. Campbell smiles. “It seems that the contest normally held for seniors only has been extended to the entire school.” Mr. Campbell. “You can submit your own original play to Mrs. Rollins the head of the drama department. The plays will all be judged by the entire drama department, the winner will have their play made into one of the actual plays we put on during the end of this semester, or the beginning of next semester. Aside from that you’re also excused from final exams in their drama class to work on the play. 10 runner ups will also be exempt from their final exams in their drama class to assist with the winning play.”

Lunch - Richie and Drake are in the cafeteria eating lunch with Jam and Drake. They’re discussing the recent contest and their intentions.

“Man that’s awesome.” Pete says. “Even if you lose, no final exams!” Pete says. “But don’t worry we got faith in you two.

“Yeah, I just wish we had something like that in the our department.” Jam says picking up a Hamburger.

“You mean, like the senior project, which is mandatory for us?” Pete asks.

“Yeah, something like that.” Jam replies. Pete, Drake, and Richie stare at Jam for a second. “I meant that we can do this semester.” Jam quickly adds. “Good save.” he thinks to himself.

“You guys come up with any ideas yet?” Pete asks.

“We got a couple of ideas.” Drake replies. “Nothing major tough.”

“We’re not gonna do ‘The Man on Fire’?” Richie asks.

“No Richie, we’d need CGI to pull that off.” Drake replies. “And we can’t do CGI in real life.”

“Why not?” Richie asks. Jam, Pete, and Drake all stare at Richie. Mike walks up to the table with Eddie, a student from the music department. Mike is holding a Apple Powerbook and has a large pair of headphones hanging around his neck.

“S’up ya’ll?” Mike asks as he and Eddie sit down. “Ya’ll know Eddie from the music department, right?” Mike asks. “So ya’ll come up with anything for that contest yet?”

“No!” Drake answers.

“Yes!” Richie answers

“Is it gonna be ‘The Man on Fire’?” Mike asks. “How are you gonna pull that off?”

“I figured we’d just set a guy on fire.” Richie says.

“You could do CGI.” Eddie suggests.

“Eddie, they’re doing a play, not a movie.” Mike replies.

“What’s your point?” Eddie asks.

“Fantastic, Mike, you brought us another Richie.” Jam says.

“It doesn’t matter what you losers come up with.” Says a voice from behind them. Drake and Richie turn around to see their arch-nemesis, Jason Presley. They grimace at the consistent smug look he has on his face. “Whatever you come up with, I’ll one up you on.” He says walking off.

Later that afternoon, the computer lab: Drake is sitting in front of one of the computers putting the finishing touches on the script that he and his cousin have been working on. A girl walks over.

“Drake, I need your help with something.” She says in an innocent voice.

“What’s up?” Drake asks.

“There’s something wrong with my monitor.” She says. “Can you come over here and help me out.

“Sure.” Drake smiles quickly hopping out of his seat and following her across the computer lab.

“I always knew he liked the dumb ones.” Jason smirks holding the cord from the girl’s computer that connects the monitor and the computer.  He looks at Drake’s monitor. “Damn, this is pretty good, but I should’ve expected that.” Jason frowns “After all their fathers are successful screenwriters.” Jason rubs his chin. “These guys are bigger competition that I thought.” Jason says pulling out a USB portable drive. “I can copy this and turn in my own version, we’ll both have to start over, but I already have a new story ready.” Jason smirks evilly. “Not even Lex Luthor is this good.”

Two Days Later, The Office of Mrs. Rollins - Drake, Richie and Jason are standing across from Mrs. Rollins. Her desk is filled with scripts, rough drafts and proposals.

“Listen boys, I have to read through all of these so I’m gonna make this quick.” She says quickly. “Your rough drafts for your plays are too much alike.” She says. “As a matter of fact, aside from the character having different names, and slightly different dialogue, these are the exact same.” She says. “But, I believe in second chances, so instead of going through the trouble of finding out who copied who and disqualifying you, I’m going to let you do a new rough draft.” She says without even looking up. “Have a nice day, I have work to do.” All three of them walk out of her office and into the hallway.

“Dude, I can’t believe you ripped off our story.” Drake say angrily.

“I’ll admit it.” Jason says. “I actually took your story as a serious threat.” Jason says. “So when I realized how far ahead you were, I needed to do something to see you two back, so I could catch up.” Jason smirks. “And while I won’t admit that to anyone else.” Jason says. “I feel the need to rub it in your faces.” He says walking off.

“Douche!” Drake says angrily.

“The only person who’s as much of a jerk as that guy carries a light saber and use telekinesis to choke people.” Richie says as he and Drake begin looking over in the corner as a teenaged Darth Vader stands there, wearing jeans and a letterman jacket.

“Just remember you have made a powerful foe.” The teenaged Darth Vader says letting out his signature heavy breathing and balling up his fist. A guy across the hall grabs his throat and falls to the floor. Drake shakes his head in disapproval. The two of them turn the corner and continue talking.

“I bet you wanna do ‘the Man on Fire’ now!” Richie says.

“First of all the name ‘Man on Fire’ is the name of a Denzel Washington movie.” Drake says. “And even if we could pull that off I’m sure Marvel Comics would sue us because the main character looks like the human torch in a speedo.”

Mike and Eddie walk from around the corner.

“What’s crackin’, ya’ll?” Mike asks.

“We have to start our project over from scratch.” Richie complains. “How’s your song coming?”

“We’re almost done with it.” Eddie says. “Mike’s trying to make a beat to it now.”

“It would’ve been easier if you let me make the beat first.” Mike says.

“Alright guys, we’ll see you two later.” Richie says. “We gotta get started on our new project.” Richie says as the two of them walk off. Mike and Eddie continue walking down the hall towards the music room.

“Damn!” Mike complains. “Here comes, Lauren she always finds something to whine about.” Lauren approaches Mike.

“Mike I’ve taken the liberty to fill in the personality section for your online profile.” She says.

“Man, I don’t need that shit to get a date.” Mike replies. “I’m DJ Mike Bombs!” He shouts. “Women practically launch themselves out of a cannon at me.

“Yo, Mike!” Eddie shouts “Duck, bro!”

“Why?” Mike asks. A girl is launched from no where. Mike ducks and the girl goes right over his head and crashes. “See what the hell I’m talkin about?” Eddie walks towards her and begins helping her up. “I know why you’re starting this.” Mike says pounding his chest. “It’s because you want me!”

“Really, Mike.” She frowns. “You’re the most arrogant, vain person I’ve ever met.”

“That’s because you haven’t met Jam & Pete’s art teacher.” Mike smirks

The Art Room - Jam & Pete’s art teacher is sitting at his desk, looking at himself in the mirror while drawing himself.

“Damn, it’s true.” He smiles shaking his head in approval. “I do get more handsome every year.”

The Cafeteria, the next morning - Drake & Richie are sitting across from each other. Both of them have breakfast plates in front of them. But their food is untouched for the most part as the two teenagers are still upset about the situation they’re in and their inability to create a new script besides “The Man on Fire”.

“Man, this script is garbage.” Drake says angrily. “I’m not even sure why we’re trying anymore.” Drake complains. “I mean how are we supposed to get this guy on fire anyway!”

“I told you, already.” Richie smiles. “We use a stunt suit from one of my dad’s films, and light the guy on fire.” Richie smirks taking a sip from his milk. “Genius!” He smirks with satisfaction.

“One problem, genius!” Drake says. “According to the law, it would be illegal to start a fire in the auditorium.”

“Drake, if we don’t set a guy on fire on stage, because we’re afraid of being arrested...” Richie begins. “Then obviously, we got our priorities horribly screwed up, man.” Drake stares at his cousin bewildered by the comment. Drake slaps himself in the forehead and drags his hand down his face.

“Dude, seriously...” Drake begins when Lauren walks up behind Drake and sits down.

“So, bro, are you two still trying to make ‘The Man on Fire’ work?” Lauren asks.

“We don’t have much of a choice.” Drake replies.

“So if you win...” Lauren begins “Where the hell would you get someone stupid enough to set themself on fire in a stunt suit?”

“I’d do it.” Richie replies proudly.

“Why am I not surprised?” Lauren asks rolling her eyes.

“Wait a minute!” Richie asks angrily. “Did you just call me an idiot?”

“Ayo, check this out.” Mike says walking from nowhere. Pete, Eddie, and Jam aren’t too far behind. “We were reading your script the other day and Jam and Pete came up with this genius plan.”

“Does that mean you liked our new script?” Richie asks.

“Hell no?” Eddie says. “Bro, when are you going to accept the fact that script sucks?” Eddie asks.

“A plan the finally involves my supreme ninja skills.” Jam smirks.

“You don’t have ninja skills, Jamal.” Lauren replies.

“Hey, don’t hate on my ninja skills.” Jam replies.

“Back to the topic at hand, we just need to see your “Man on Fire” script. Pete says.

“This way we can set-up Jason, and you’ll never see that horrible script again.” Eddie says.

“Just make sure you’re standing outside of Mrs. Rollins’ office after school.” Mike says standing up. “Alright, Drake, Rich Boy, just remember that Big Mike has your backs.

Outside of Mrs. Rollins office, 3:35 - Drake and Richie are both patiently standing outside of Mrs. Rollins’ office.  Jason Presley angrily storms towards them. His face is a puffy read, he’s practically blowing steam from his nose. He slowly calms down and regains his composure.

“You bastards tried to sabotage me!” Jason shouts angrily flailing his arms.

“Use your inside voice, Jason.” Drake taunts.

“Okay, I plagiarized your stupid little project in an attempt to sabotage you.” Jason complains. “But what you did was just damn low!” He says angrily. “Do you realize that I almost turned in this piece of garbage?” Jason asks tossing down a copy of ‘The Man on Fire’. “Even if this script was any good, how am I supposed to pull off a guy being on fire for 80 minutes?” Jason asks.

“He’s only on fire for 20 minutes.” Richie says. “I was figuring we’d get a stunt suit from on of my dad’s movies...”

“Shut up!” Jason says. “I can’t believe you stole my script, I’m going to have you two suspended for this!” Jason says turning away.

“They didn’t steal your script.” Jam says walking from around the corner. “It’s in your book bag.” Jam says. Jason takes off his book bag and sits it on the floor. He pulls out his real script.

“How’d you know it was there?” Jason asks.

“I put it there, I was supposed to steal it.” Jam says. “But stealing is hard to do conscience wise when there’s no file sharing involved.”

“You stole my script and put it in my bag?” Jason asks. “When I was wearing it the whole time?”

“Yea, mad ninja skills, bruh.” Jam smirks

“Ninja skills?” Jason asks. “Yeah, right.”  Jam quickly strikes Jason in the mouth. Jason grabs his mouth.

“You wanna doubt my ninja skills again, bruh?” Jam asks. Jason shakes his head no.

“Anyway, back to the point.” Drake says. “You’ve admitted to stealing our story.” Drake says.

“Yeah, dude, that’s old news.” Jason replies rubbing his lower lip.

“And we’ve established that no one stole your story.” Drake continues.

“Yeah, whatever.” Jason replies.

“Okay, well now you have to choices.” Drake says. “Either you can withdraw from the contest and admit to Mrs. Rollins that you ripped off our story and take a suspension, or we can tell Mrs. Rollins what you did, and you might go to a hearing that results in expulsion.”

“You don’t have proof.” Jason says angrily.

“They have a witness.” Pete says coming from around the corner. “Well, two actually including Jam.” Mike and Eddie pass by in the background holding recording equipment, including a large microphone.

“Uh-oh, Mikey, I hit the record switch!” Eddie shouts in a conspicuous manner.

“Eddie, you know how sensitive these things are, we could’ve recorded every conservation on this end of the hall.” Mike says in an equally conspicuous manner as the two proceed up the hallway.

“If that doesn’t make the decision easier for you.” Jam begins. “I could beat you up.” Jason gulps and swallows his spit. He begins rocking nervously.

“I surrender.”

The Cafeteria, Later That Week - Drake and Richie both look disappointed. After getting back the results of the contest, they discovered that they made fourth place. Mike, Jam, Pete, and Eddie are all sitting at the table with them.

“You may have got fourth place.” Eddie begins. “But at least for your drama classes you don’t have to worry about finals.”

“I’m just glad you didn’t have to turn in ‘the Man on Fire’.” Mike says.

“Yeah.” Richie says. “Mrs. Rollins said that me and Drake had the highest ranking sophomore script.” Richie says. “And because of that, me and Drake still get to work on the winning play at the end of the semester.” Richie adds.

“So, Jam, you never did tell us how you knew Jason would be trapped in his own web of lies.” Drake says.

“Well, I saw it like this.” Jam says. “An egotistical villain usually think that they got their stuff together, and they don’t realize that they’re screwed until the last moment.” Jam says. “Egotistical villains also have a habit of giving away their plan or admitting their crimes...”

“Will you stop talking about supervillains and anser my cousin’s question?” Richie asks angrily. Everyone raises from the table and walks off. “What?” Richie asks in a confused manner.
Okay, for those who have been keeping up with the comics I've been posting, I've been drawing at a snails pace (working takes up a lot of my time, and drawing at work never works out). Anyways, I decided to do a narrative featuring the cast of Prime, this way I could flesh out the characters, go deeper with their dialogue, establish the characters and stack up on jokes. Anyways any critiques and comments will be appreciated.

Oh yeah, Eddie, a new main character is introduced during this story.

I present to you Meridia Academy of Arts Volume 1: We Do This

Revisions have been made to the story, and a new scene has been added.
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stevendanger's avatar
Pretty good. I enjoyed it. So much I'm doing the most complete critique I've written in years. I very rarely read scripts as well... it requires thinking. But when you're rich and famous and everyone knows your name and work I want to be the fat, balding guy at the comic store bragging how I knew you before you were you and gave some input!

It begins:

“Dude, you sound like an angry gorilla when you sleep.” Richie says. “I could hear you from next door.” Richie says. “My dad thought I was staying up late to watch gorillas mate on the Discovery Channel.”

“Why would your Uncle Rick think you were doing that?” Drake asks curiously. <-- Who's his Uncle Rick? Maybe remove "your" to make it just "Uncle Rick"... oh... oh snap, My dad's name is Rick... this means the Hail to the King version of Prime's Richie is -- me!?

Jason Presley's underhanded copy of the play should be done as a "scheme" type thing, show him reading the script the and internal dialogue of him being scared that it was better than his. Then him stealing a copy and plagiarizing them. It'll add to his douche-baggery, making him a better villain.

Teenaged Darth Vader is awesome!

“Wait a minute!” Richie asks angrily. “Did you just call me an idiot?” <-- Maybe this could be a couple lines down, just add to the vacancy of Richie's attention span.

“Inside voices.” Drake taunts. Maybe better as, "Use your indoor voice." <-- Another good one to use in a situation like this is having Jason flail his arms as he babbles with Drake whipping a good old fashioned, "use your words" in a mocking motherly fashion (on second thought... I might use that myself)

“Yea, mad ninja skills, bruh.” Jam smirks <--- This I love. The whole set up is great!

“They have a witness.” Pete says coming from around the corner. “Well, two actually including Jam.”

“Oh yeah, now might be the right time to tell you that I was recording this conversation on my cell phone.” Richie says. <--- I'd ditch this, the "“Uh-oh, Mikey, I hit the record switch!” Eddie shouts in a conspicuous manner." part says everything. Jason's screwed.

“So, Jam, you never did tell us how you came up with the plan to trap Jason in his own web of lies.” Drake says. <--- Maybe something like "How did you know Jason would become entangled in his own web of lies?"

Overall rating: Great. I enjoyed it. I laughed. Some bits confused me a little, some bits I felt fell a little short, so much potential in your cast that in a few places you didn't need a "Drake said" or "Jam laughed" (eventho that line wasn't in there, you get my drift) . Overall I would purchase this at the shop.

Keep writing them and I'll keep reading them. Hell, if ever you want to do a "Meridia Academy of Arts: Field Trip to Coleville" cross-over/collaboration, I'm game!